Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The loneliest time of the year

I live such a lonely life. Honestly. How did I end up this way? 
I love my friends, I really do. But I most often feel like I give so much more than I get. Not that I give to get, but just that I'm not getting fed the way that I feed others. 
I wish I had someone to confide in. Someone here who knows this particular situation I'm in, and I can talk through my thoughts and feelings with. 
I just want, need, a companion. Someone I can always count on to do things with, or go places with. I feel like I'm someone people can always count on, but who can I count on? 

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Limitless Yet Limiting

I've had this blog for years and still haven't managed to make blogging a habit, or even post semi-regularly. This year particularly it's been a goal of mine, partly because I think it would be healthy for me, and partly because I would love to have a single place for my thoughts and projects documented; help me keep everything organized, my thoughts, my life, in front of me, tangible, so maybe I can keep it together. I think my perfectionism and not knowing where to start is partly to blame, as well as not finishing things I start, but now that I think about it I think there's another guilty party. I have multiple outlets at my disposal that I use to share things that interest me or random things I'm thinking or feeling at a given time. I'm constantly on twitter an instagram and pinterest. But these things are limitless yet limiting. I have to sensor myself because of who follows me or because I only have 140 characters. Or giving too much of myself away. Or my perfectionism again. My hope is that on here, eventually, I can put everything in one place. And not be scared to post something for fear of it being right or wrong or not worthy or whatever. I have to trust myself that I'll eventually find my groove, and even if I don't it's okay because it's not the end of the world. IT'S JUST A BLOG. And it's not like anyone reads it anyway! I just want to better myself. I want to become the best me I can be. I want to grow continually. I want to be great. I want to be proud of myself. I want to set goals and achieve them. I want to post things that make me laugh or make me think or encourage me or challenge me. Because I am funny and I am smart and I have good taste and I am HUNGRY for more. But until I can post without restraint, to help me build a habit, maybe the best start is a Friday Five. Five random thoughts for the week behind or week ahead. Just blog about 5 things and lets see where it goes from there. Until then..

Friday, November 30, 2012

Just Workin' My Way Through College...

So right before Thanksgiving break last year I bought some yarn and a crochet hook and decided to teach myself how to crochet. I learned a few basics, but nothing ever came of it. Fast forward to the week before Thanksgiving break this year.. I picked up my hook again and bought some chunky yarn and got to business! And before I knew it I had the grassroots of a business on my hands. I made a few infinity scarves, set up a shop on Etsy, and now I just have to get to crocheting some to actually sell! Here's the link to my store, Henley & Jones, and hopefully I'll have something up soon!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

21 Secrets for your 20s

Discovered this article via Pinterest. Enjoy!

21 Secrets for Your 20s

1. Never looking at your budget and never making a budget is the exact same thing.

2. The possibility for greatness and embarrassment both exist in the same space. If you're not willing to be embarrassed, you're probably not willing to be great.

3. Feel no same in seeking help from a counselor or therapist. We all have crap we try to wrap and hide under the Christmas tree. Get rid of it before it smells up your entire holiday.

4. All job listings on Craigslist lead you to a warehouse in downtown LA "wearing something nice with shoes you can walk in".

5. Don't ever, ever check Facebook when you're:
                                   - Depressed
                                   - Drinking
                                   - Depressed and Drinking
                                   - Unemployed
                                   - Anytime after 9:17 pm.
                                   - Struggling with being blessed with 
singleness while all your friends 
seem to be blessed with 2.4 kids 
and that blazing white-picket-
fence shining with all the glory 
of Jesus Christ himself.

6. All those amazing college friends you swore you'd never lose contact with after college yeah, well, you might loose contact. Moving all over the country, getting married, having kids, all make that forty-five minute conversation with your sophomore year roommate a little more complicated than it used to be over a game of Mario Kart. Making and keeping friends in our twenties takes intentionality.

7. Your twenties will produce more failures than you'll choose to remember. The key is when you fail, don't begin calling yourself a failure.

8. Every break up has two break ups. I'm no physicist, but this is a law of physics, of this I am certain. Yes you'll have the first tearful "It's over" sitting in the front seat of your Honda or on a park swing. Then 1-2 months later after there's "been talk", you'll have the "real breakup" because she forgets to call like she used to or he checks out the waitress likes he's a judge for Miss USA. And gird those loins because in the second breakup there will be a lot more breaking.

9. The Freshman-Fifteen is nothing compared to the Cubicle-Cincuenta. Don't sit at your computer perched like a Roman gargoyle. Don't let office birthday cake be forced on you like a cigarette behind your middle school. Bust out before your butt does.

10. And yes, cubicles don't make sense to anybody other than upper-management. I would be willing to bet that only 3% of all "Cubicle Americans" actually have a positive outlook on life. And half of the 3% is stealing from their company.

11. If at some point between 22-27 you feel like you're six years old again, lost and alone at the San Diego Zoo (it's a big-frickin-zoo), frantically searching for a familiar face - hold tight, you're experiencing a bit of a Quarter-Life crisis. Stay put. Pray a lot. And in no time someone will call your name across the loud speaker to tell you where you can be found.

12. Reckless drinking and reckless flirting have a direct correlation. Friends don't let friends drive, or flirt, drunk.

13. If you grew up going to church, at some point in your 20s you'll probably stop going to church. If you grew up with faith as a central part of your life, at some point in your twenties faith might move to the outskirts of town next to the trailer park and three-legged squirrel refuge. Your twenties are a process of making faith your own apart from your parents and childhood. Sometimes that means staggering away so you know what you're coming back to.

14. Don't ever begin dating someone you first met whilst in swimsuits. Doubly-don't if you're both in swimsuits whilst holding an alcoholic beverage.

15. Obsessive Comparison Disorder is the smallpox of our generation. 9 out of 10 doctors agree this disorder is the leading cause to eating a whole sleeve of Oreo's while watching Real Housewives of OC. Say no to obsessive comparison disorder before it starts. Remember everyone's too busy putting a PR spin on their Facebook profile to care much about yours.

16. Life will never feel like it's "supposed to". Being twentysomething can feel like death by unmet expectations. However, let me be so brash to say that you are right now, at this moment, exactly where you need to be. Buy you'll only be able to see that five years and thirty-eight days from today.

17. You might have your first kid and realize what it's like to be young, a parent, and have no freaking clue what you're doing. And for the first time in your life, you might also actually understand your parents for the first time.

18. Marriage WILL NOT fix any of your problems. No, instead marriage will put a magnifying glass on how many problems you really have. We grow up carrying bags with our insecurities, fears, bad relationships, problems with our parents - you name it. Begin to ditch these bags now. Newly married and living in a small apartment is no place to store a luggage set full of shiz.

19. An assortment of crappy jobs are a twenty something rite of passage. Figure out what you need to learn there and learn it. If you don't, an assortment of crappy jobs might be your thirty, forty, and fiftysomething rite of passage as well.

20. Great ideas alone mean nothing. Your ability to persevere through 16 major setbacks, a lack of passion, forgetting why you started this great idea in the first place, and all the people who allude that your great idea is actually quite terrible - well, that means everything.

21. The grass is always greener on the other side, until you get there and realize it's because of all the manure.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Inspiration finally comes, 90 years in the making

The other day I was in one of my Wikipedia moods, where I can just read page after page on topic after topic, and open tons of windows in the process. When reading about Protestantism, I went to my, somewhat, home church's website (FUMC of Crestview) and came across the March newsletter. The pastor's message to the congregation was this list of "life lessons" you could say, written by a 90 year old woman. Some of these points were beyond my years, talking about kids and bills, etc., but many struck a cord with me. I have been struggling with how to start my blogging endeavor, mainly because I've been thinking too much about it, instead of just starting. So on a whim I decided to share this list, even though I doubt it will be read by anyone other than me, but I'm just glad I finally have a starting point. Enjoy..

  • Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick; your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
  • Pay off your credit cards every month.
  • You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  • Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
  • It’s ok to get angry at God. He can take it.
  • Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
  • When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  • Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
  • It’s ok to let your children see you cry.
  • If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
  • Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
  • Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful.
  • It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  • Over prepare, then go with the flow.
  • Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
  • Forgive everyone [for] everything.
  • Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  • However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  • God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
  • Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  • Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.
  • Your children only get one childhood.
  • All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  • Get outside every day. Miracles are everywhere.
  • If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
  • The best is yet to come…

Written by Regina Brett, 90, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Game plan..

"Trust in the Lord and DO GOOD; 
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord 
and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord; 
trust Him and He will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, 
and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; 
fret not over the one you prospers in his way, 
over the man who carries out evil desires."

Psalm 37:3-7

Monday, January 17, 2011

Oh Peter...

Recently, my dear friend Erin texted me passages in 1 Peter that comforted me in the midst of my struggling, which of course, were exactly what I needed to hear both times. So, along with Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, 1 Peter is where I've been lately. I came across this passage and got to thinking...

"He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God. Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God; for all the flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flowers of the grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever." - 1 Peter 1:20-25

Peter tells us that we are believers of God through Jesus Christ, because God raised Christ from the dead and he gave God the glory. Therefore, our faith and our hope is in God. And then it just hit me. Many, many times throughout the Bible we are instructed to strive to live like Jesus since we are formed in his image and should act like him to show his love and who he is. Well this passage is the root of that. Because God raised US from the dead, from our dirty lives full of sin, and washed us clean (which is enhanced by obedience), WE are to give all of the glory to God, so, as it was with Jesus, other people will see us and through our lives will become believers and put their faith and hope in God. Then, as it is written to us who are obedient and are washed clean, we are able to love with a pure, sincere heart, through the Word of God, which is living and active, because unlike the flesh and things of this world, the Word of God stands forever.


How comforting is it that all his promises last forever. FOREVER. Especially that nothing we can ever do or say can take us out of his healing hands, from his loving embrace, or turn us away from his outstretched arms. (And on top of that, I know there are so many things of this world that I am SO thankful do not last forever..) But HIS love remains the same. He is constant, for he tells us, "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." 
Consistency, sleep, and peace; yes, please.